Sleeping with the Enemy

Hi Alyse!

I've been a server/manager for the last 6 years at the same restaurant - partly to have restaurant experience and partly to help pay for some of my bills while I was going to school full time. The restaurant has an excellent reputation in town I graduated with a degree in Hotel and Restaurant Management 4 months ago and am having a hard time getting a job. I'm only looking at management positions and at higher end restaurants because I have experience in that field (that's the kind of restaurant I worked in for 6 years), I've got $60000 worth of school loans to pay back and I support myself. I've been going on interviews but not getting any callbacks or offers and I'm starting to think it's because of my references. In my fourth year of employment, I started dating my boss, the General Manager who is also the owner's son. I left a month after I graduated from school because we went through an bad break up.
HELP!

Sleeping with the enemy Baltimore, MD

Hi B-More!

I get this one a lot and I've developed a patented 5 step response action plan designed to help you stay out of this particular quandry. Here goes:

1. Don't sleep with your boss;
2. Don't sleep with your boss;
3. Don't sleep with your boss;
4. Don't sleep with your boss;
5. Don't sleep with your boss.

Now, after you've completed the 5 step program, you may want to look into securing 1-2 valuable internships (where they are unlikely to ask for references but are likely to provide good references) and starting over. If you list your experience at the restaurant as just a server and place any focus on your management skills on the internships, you should be able to explain why your references are from the internships. In addition, once you explain it's a family business that did not give you the opportunity to move up, it becomes clear why you are no longer with the company. I get your school loan money situation, you may want to request an unemployment forbearance while you work on gainful employment.

A. Fox
...You live and learn. At any rate, you live. (Douglas Adams)

Ask Alyse is sponsored by Workkrow.com - Maintain your contacts today with Bird's Eye View.